she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wear drunk well.
Randomize