Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
