And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
