I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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