Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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