You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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