Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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