but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he fucked my hip out of place.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
