SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
