there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Your penis caused this!
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