we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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