im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
