At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Randomize
