Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
