he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
