dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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