Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just high enough for therapy.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
