So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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