You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
