we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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