dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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