You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
