In the future we'll all be gay
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
