The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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