dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
