Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
