Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
