i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
