He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
your like the ambassador to my penis.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
