How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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