I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I believe in your delicious
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
