Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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