i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
