Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
