hotel room ftw
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
