Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We are two peas in an std pod
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
