I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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