your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
