they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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