butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
