So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
