your thong is hanging out like whoa
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Randomize
