eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
