That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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