Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Boobs are out for the taking
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
