this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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