You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
