My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
