dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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