Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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