she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
