he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I am one with the molecules
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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